So why do farang men seem to frequently find the worst of Thailand when it comes to Thai women? Firstly, farang men do have a reputation in Thailand, some good, some not so good.I’ll narrow it down to the two that seems to matter most. (1) Thais think that all Farangs are wealthy. Can be good and bad…more on that later. (2) Thais believe that farang men are whore-chasers and connoisseurs of low-class women. Farangs need to understand Thai’s belief in class distinction to really appreciate the importance of number 2. And before you go about beating up Thais for falsely believing number 2, understand that Thais know what’s going on in Pattaya, Phuket, and the seedier areas of Bangkok. They see farang guys trying to pass their hookers off as girlfriends and they know. Heck, everyone knows. So if you want to blame anyone, blame these true whore-chasers who are still out there every single day. It never ceases to amaze me how farangs get upset when Thai folks mistakenly assume their wives/GFs are hookers, yet see for themselves other farangs with hookers and don’t even bat an eye. Thais only believe that Thai women with farangs are BGs/ex-BGs because it’s true the majority of the time.
Back to the topic. So Thai women believe that farangs are wealthy. What kind of women will this attract? Well, certainly women who are into money. I’ll say that most women consider this to be desirable, but only a few believe it to be the most important thing. The ones who have it on the top of their priority list will certainly be after guys that have it. But then there’s the number 2 rep that farangs carry around, the whore-chasing thing. Most Thai girls are actually conservative by nature and really don’t want to be seen as “that sort of woman.” So that takes out the “nice” girls. And the women that are educated and well-off – well they don’t need that stigma either. I mean, why be looked at as some low-class gold-digger when you’ve already got your own money? So what you’re left with are the poor desperate types who really aren’t concerned about their reputation or what other people think because quite frankly, they have much more pressing problems.
There’s a well-kept secret in Thailand that every Thai person seems to know but no farang does (or maybe can’t grasp what it means). It boggles my mind actually because you can’t get three Thai people to agree on anything but nearly everyone agrees on this, both men and women. That farang men only date ugly Thai women. Now this is where there’s a huge perception difference between Thai and farang men. It’s the Isaan factor again, but let me try to explain it so that the average farang can relate. Thais look at dark-skinned women sort of the same way that Americans look at fat white women. Most American guys don’t dream of waking up every morning next to an obese woman, but admittedly, some guys are into that sort of thing. And if you are, you’ve got the pick of the litter. And that’s how it is with Isaan type women. Thai men of reasonable means are not going to be interested in these type of women and these women know it. Don’t believe me? Heck, just watch some Thai TV and see what they’re touting in the commercials. Constantly seeing products that are alleged to lighten women’s skin. Look at the Thai women soap stars. Certainly doesn’t fit the profile of a girl typically seen with a farang. Now I honestly don’t believe that farangs “prefer” these Isaan type of women, although most seem content with anyone who’s thin and young, regardless of what they look like. But that’s really all that’s available to most farangs.
Something interesting that I’ve noticed is that it’s almost pointless to be a good-looking farang guy in Thailand. Because you’re going to have access to the same pool of women as that fat, hairy, smelly, 55 year old German guy sitting at the end of the bar. You’re not going to have access to the same type of women that I have – and I say this almost apologetically. Back in the states, you see a good looking guy and you expect him to be with an attractive woman. And he almost always is. But here, you see a good-looking farang guy and chances are that his GF/wife will be the same Isaan-type woman that all the other farang guys run around with. There’s a young farang guy in my company who’s got the classic GQ look. I mean this guy would be a serious ladies-man back in the states. Nice guy too. Yet, his girlfriend is just oh-so-typical Isaan-type. And another guy, not as GQ, but in his late 20’s, better than average looking, making solid money, and his new wife has two kids (not his), and of course…well, no need to beat a dead horse. Nothing wrong with this, by the way, if they’re happy. Just an observation.
Which brings me back to the “secret” thing. It’s not really the intention of Thais to deceive farangs here or keep him from the truth. Thais really don’t like hurting people’s feelings, farangs or otherwise. But there’s no way to tell the guys and honestly, why would we want to? If the woman is attractive to you (and a good person to boot), it shouldn’t matter what everyone else thinks (ever seen the American movie Shallow Hal?). I’ve run into many situations where my farang colleagues or friends would show me a picture of their new GF, just gushing with their new found love expecting me to shower him with compliments of what a Goddess she was. Believe me, these gals were almost always hideous, but I just usually nod in agreement. Look at the picture above, that’s the typical thai girl. What the heck am I going to say?
My advice to farang men who are still searching for love: if a Thai woman comes after you, watch out. As I said before, Thai women are conservative by nature. This is how a “nice” Thai girl approaches a guy she’s interested in. Has happened to me countless times. Her friend or acquaintance will approach me and say that someone’s really interested and see if I’m available. I’ll ask some questions and the friend will never reveal who it is until he/she knows that it’s a green light. I always end up saying I have a girlfriend (which I do) and I’ll never find out who this girl is. But if she approaches me directly, it will be very subtle and it won’t even appear like she’s interested. If a Thai woman drops these subtle hints and the guy doesn’t get it (or isn’t interested), she won’t pursue you for long. Point here is that they are very conservative when it comes to courtship and the man really has to be the aggressor. If the woman is the aggressor, then she’s really not the type of woman that I’d be interested in. Women libbers in the states are going to hate this, but that’s still the way it is in Thailand.
Something else: if she says that she really likes farang guys and that’s what she’s looking for, don’t just walk away – freakin run. Because what she’s essentially saying is that she wants a farang guy and ANY farang will do. You’re nothing special, just the target of opportunity. And why do you think she prefers a farang guy? Hint: it’s got nothing to do with your charm and personality (check number 1 above). Why would you want to be with a woman who’d basically take up with any other farang guy if given the opportunity? What you really want is a Thai woman who’s not interested in a farang guy. Actually prefers a Thai guy. You win over that sort of woman and you’ve got something. Then you’ll know that she’s interested in you for you and nothing else. But it’d really help if you took the time to learn some Thai. I’d be a little suspicious of an uneducated Thai woman who speaks English a little too well, but that’s another topic for another time.
I came across this interesting article about Thai woman & their Farang partners. I do not like to generalise but from what I hear on my side and from friends alike, Thai woman are just deceitful, gold diggers and are just exceptionally vile.
Anyone who lives in Thailand for a while hears stories about western men (or farang as we are known here) and the bizarre behaviour of their Thai wives and girlfriends. To those looking from the outside it is often a source of amusement. Sometimes it is just strange behaviour. Other times it is a shocking willingness to totally screw over their farang partners.
Some of the things these women do just make you laugh but there are other times they take your breath away with the sheer audacity of their actions; their ability to put aside any semblance of morals and just scheme away to their own ends. There are other times when it is just their plain stupidity that takes the breath away.
The following four stories all happened around my own little housing estate in Phuket where there are quite a few farang-Thai couples. These stories are just a small sample of the things Thai women can get up to, writes studentloanszone.co.
A young European guy and his Thai girlfriend have lived in the house opposite me for the last three months. They are both very sociable and quickly introduced themselves. We sometimes share a few drinks in the garden He seems like an easy-going guy. She is very chatty and usually happy. She doesn’t drink, smoke, gamble or take drugs which is a promising start for Thai girlfriend material.
The problem is she regularly goes completely off the rails. Every two or three days they have a huge argument. I say argument, but in fact it is usually only her voice you can hear screaming abuse. She throws things, windows get broken and then there are tears and drama in the street.
The upshot is usually that she packs her bags and declares she is leaving for good. A big show is made of this. She comes to say goodbye to us because she is never going to see us again. She calls a taxi and then stands outside her house shouting to her boyfriend that she is leaving for good.
He quietly stays inside and ignores the whole charade. The thing is we all know she isn’t leaving. She may be back the same day. If not, she will return the next day somehow looking triumphant. In fact, this pretence of leaving has become so shallow that instead of taking her packed bags, she now makes a habit of hiding them in our house so she doesn’t have the hassle of carrying them.
What are the arguments about? Some of them are the usual accusation that he is playing around with other women. Often, it is that he has spent money on something she thinks is wasteful. But it is HIS money! He pays her a generous allowance. When Thai women do this routine of trying to stop their farang boyfriends spending their money, it is not because they want to save him money. There is a simpler motive. The more the boyfriend spends, the less there is leftover for her to squeeze out of him.
This girl has already told my wife she has three other farang boyfriends. This is one of the things us westerners just don’t get. It is not only that they play these games and deceive their boyfriends. They think it is something to boast about and if they can boast about it right under their boyfriend’s nose, all the better. Why she thought my wife wouldn’t tell me, I don’t know. She probably assumes all Thai women deceive their farang partners and that my wife would be impressed at her cunning.
I wouldn’t get involved in other people’s relationships so I will not be telling this guy about the other boyfriends. Anyway, I don’t think he is such a fool. He is returning to Europe this week and I doubt if he will be continuing his relationship with this particular Thai girl – but you never know.
The previous occupants of this same house were a European guy and his Thai wife. He worked in Europe for six months a year and lived in Phuket for the other six months. He had been doing this for years and when he was in Phuket, they always seemed to have a good relationship. The problem was that for the six months he was away, his wife had to entertain herself and her vice was gambling.
Gambling really does seem to be a major problem for some Thai women. I know several of the Thai wives on our estate play a regular card game. They all say the same thing. It is just a bit of fun for small money. I have seen them play and it is not for fun. They get very intense, there is little conversation and although the stakes start small, they quickly grow. I have heard of women winning or losing as much as 30,000 baht in these ‘fun’ games.
There seems to be something in the Thai mentality that leaves them very open to gambling addiction. Perhaps it is their belief in lucky numbers and fate. Whatever it is, there is good reason why gambling is illegal in Thailand. It is an endless source of problems, especially for Thai women with money and time on their hands such as wives of farang.
So every morning this Thai woman set off for her local card game. Sometimes she would be gone for two or three days – they really can play that long. She had been doing this for years and I guess she wasn’t losing too much. But then the problems started.
The first sign was when she started asking to borrow money. At first, it was only small sums that we were happy to give her. But then she wanted 10,000 baht. I knew this was a sign of a serious problem. She was chasing her losses. The only way she could repay the money was if she got lucky at cards so I refused her the loan.
Of course, there are other ways to borrow money in Thailand. Once one of these girls is on the slope she will keep sliding. Soon there were rough looking Thai men appearing on her doorstep demanding repayment. She sold her motorbike and started renting one instead. She sold jewelry and furniture but used the money to chase her losses and the loan sharks kept appearing. She started disappearing for a week at a time. It was obvious her situation was out of control. Then she was gone.
I don’t think the loan sharks got her. She packed her bags in the middle of the night and ran. There were rumours about how much she owed and for those sorts of sums she would have to do a good job of disappearing. There were calls from her husband asking why he could not contact his wife. When he returned to Phuket, there was no sign of her. She had not returned to her family, or at least not that they would admit. She just ran away from it all, the debts and the marriage.
A good friend of mine was very pleased that his wife was expecting their first child. His wife’s sister was also pleased but for slightly different reasons. She wanted copies of the ultrasound scans of the foetus. She had an Australian boyfriend who she was siphoning like an old banger. She had already twice convinced him she was pregnant and needed medical expenses. Then of course, she had two miscarriages and so needed more medical expenses.
Now she was trying the same routine for a third time but he was proving a little harder to convince. He wanted to see the ultrasound scans. So what good fortune that her sister just happened to be pregnant.
My friend absolutely put his foot down. No way would he let his child be used as a tool in a Thai bargirl scam. It is one thing to stand back and watch these girls rip off their farang boyfriends. It is a totally different thing to play an active role in the deception.
Without a copy of an ultrasound scan, her bluff was called and she was caught out. The Aussie boyfriend dumped her. All kinds of drama followed. She had a Thai boyfriend and together they were living the high life. Without her benefactor, she quickly ran up huge debts. The Thai boyfriend left her. She got her mother to take out a loan. She defaulted on the loan and her mother spent two days in prison until my friend paid her bail – after all, she is also the mother of his wife.
So much drama and heartache that you think she might actually learn her lesson. And then would you believe it – the Aussie boyfriend decided to give her another chance. Now she is spending his money like water again and convinced that everything she did has worked out for the best.
Oh yeah, one other thing she hasn’t told the Aussie boyfriend. He is very keen to start a family but she cannot have children. She is infertile.
All these previous stories fade in significance compared to what happened to this guy. I don’t know him personally but I know his neighbours. He worked in Bangkok and came to Phuket at weekends to see his wife. Their relationship was already rocky and they were working towards agreeing an amicable split. They owned the house but there was still an outstanding mortgage.
One weekend he returned home to find it deserted. Everything of value was gone. He was confused and started looking for an explanation. He was soon given one by a bank representative who arrived shortly afterwards. The bank has repossessed the house.
“That cannot be,” said this guy. “I pay the mortgage every month.” The
bank guy explained – “that mortgage is with a different bank. Your wife took a second mortgage on the property and she has not paid.”
The farang guy realised he was totally screwed. He started looking for a way out but there was none. Can I take over the payments? It is too late. I will get a lawyer! It is too late. We have been taking action for months. It is finished now.
In a blind fury, this farang guy started smashing up the house. The bank called the police and they arrested him. The house was no longer his property so he would have to pay for the damages.
Over the next few days, the full extent of his wife’s treachery became apparent. She had not only taken a second mortgage on the property but also she had used it as collateral for a loan from the local mafia. She had taken the money and disappeared. There were now two banks and the local mafia arguing over who had claim to his house.
I had met his wife only once a few weeks before. She came around our house asking for a 100,000-baht loan. She said she would write up a contract and pay back 110,000 baht the very next week. Naturally, we refused this generous offer. She must have known even then that she had no intention of paying. She carried on doing the rounds until she found a sucker willing to give the loan. It was actually a local Thai guy she fleeced.
It is a small world. Another friend of mine recently met this farang guy working offshore. He was working all the hours he could get to pay off his debts. The bank with the original mortgage has insisted he must pay it off or they will have him blacklisted from Thailand. He still loves Thailand and his life here and does not want to be blacklisted.
I certainly don’t want to generalise and say all Thai women are scheming or crazy. All four of these women had one thing in common; they had all worked in the sex industry. That is not to say that all Thai girls from the sex industry are bad. It is not even that all Thai girls who have never worked in the sex industry are good. However, on the whole this sort of behaviour is much more likely to come from women who have worked in the sex industry.
The tourist sector of the sex industry is all about extracting as much money as possible from the customers. The girls learn to lie, scheme and play their customers like a fiddle. They can take the same mentality into their long-term relationships. They are still playing the game and unfortunately, the basis of their relationship is how much money they can squeeze from their farang.
I do know plenty of guys who have great Thai wives. I would go as far as to say that the sort of stories above are the minority and most men who settle in Thailand find a great woman. The cultural differences will always cause a few difficulties and Thai women certainly do a few things we find strange. As long as both sides are willing to compromise then it can all work out fine.
This is not a purely Thai phenomenon. I know men who have been fleeced by women in their own countries. And the divorce rates in the west are so high that there is really no point in harping on about the number of failed farang-Thai relationships. This devious side of the Thai female is not a universal truth. However, these stories do seem to be more common here than elsewhere. I think it is mostly a by-product of the way many of these relationships started.
More than threefifths of women in the Northeast surveyed in an Isaan poll said they wanted to marry farang husbands, mainly because of their wealth, faithfulness and respect for women.
Of 484 women living in 19 northeastern provinces surฌveyed in March and April, 61 per cent said they deemed Western men rich, 53 per cent said they thought farang men were kind and respected women more than Thai men, while 16 per cent said they wanted to marry and live abroad.
Englishmen were the favourites, gaining 32 per cent of respondents’ votes, while Americans and Germans trailed behind with 21 and eight per cent respectively.
The survey found that women who were already married to foreign husbands spent a large portion (20 per cent) of their monthly income on electricity and water bills as their homes tended to be large and full of domestic appliances – another factor that attracted single, northeastern women.
As many people who visited Thailand or are staying here will know, farang is the Thai word for a foreigner usually of European ancestry. For Isan being moneywise one of the the poorest area’s in Thailand, the word farang is almost equivalent to rich people.
Marrying a farang, means for many women here a steady source of income and a secured future.
So far nothing new, women have been doing that for centuries, all over the world.
Different from the Western world, in major parts of Asia, part of the income goes to the parents and family, who will, following tradition, benefit as well.
The accompanying photo shows what foreign money can do for the people here.
There’s a popular Isan song translated in English titled; “I Want to Mary a Farang” and the lyrics roughly go like this: “I want to mary a farang, I don’t care if he’s from; Switzerland, Germany or from America, I don’t care if he’s young or old, I want to cover my body in gold”, etc. etc.
Since the above song is somehow not available or being banned on Youtube, here’s another link called “Where is my farang?”
In 2000, researchers believed at least 15,000 Isan women married foreign men, sometimes they are being called Cinderella’s, because they found their ‘white’ prince.
(For more info see my page about Isan Demographics.)
Keeping this in mind, there’s something special about the village of Baan Jarn, not far from Roi-Et City.
According to a BBC article in 2004, Baan Jarn had 540 households, of which at least 100 have a foreign son-in-law. According to an anonymous source of the 330 women living there, 84 married a farang, which would mean 25% or in other words; one-fourth of Baan Jarn female population opted for transnational marriage, 166 times higher than the Isan average of 0.15% or 50 times higher than my own estimate of 0.5%. According to the BBC article, the husbands are almost invariably living in Switzerland together with their Thai wife, which gave Baan Jarn the nick name “Swiss Village”. According to some it all started with a poor woman called Mae Nang, having 2 children, struggling to survive went over to Pattaya to generate a better income, met a Swiss man, married and moved to Switzerland. Hearing enthusiastic stories about a remote land of ‘gold’ and ‘honey’ part of her family and village friends followed her example and a more ‘profitable’ paddy field substitute was being discovered, resulting in a female exodus of Baan Jarn.
Baan Jarn parents usually are very happy when their daughters coming home with a Swiss, and through the years the Swiss Franc has proven to be very stable indeed. The women usually return once a year to attend the Songkran festival or the Thai New Year, occasionally accompanied by their husbands. Foreigners are not allowed to buy or own land here, but since Mea Nang’s initiative, Baan Jarn has certainly prospered, although the satellite image doesn’t reveal many swimming pools as the above photo suggests.
Unfortunately In Life What You See Is Not Always What You Get!!
Many Thai Women are spectacularly lovely, most are incredibly sexy!! They have a way of walking and carrying themselves which is totaly mesmerising. None of this is conjecture it is fact!! What is not so obvious at first sight is the lovely Ladies motivation in starting a relationship with you, a possibly less than perfect specimen of Manhood. Let me spell it out for you the attraction is money pure and simple!! You have it she wants it end of story!!!
Cool Looking Lady
I Know I Am Cynical
WHAT THAI WOMEN REALLY WANT
Sorry Here I go again banging on about the motivations of Thai Women and their quest for a Western partner .More particularly I am talking about Issan Women many of whom are already in relationships with Falangs and countless more who are engaged in hunting down their prey!!!
OK I am cynical I freely admit it, but if you had seen the evidence which I have and been told the same sorry tales on countless occasions you might just agree that all the evidence points to my being right!! Issan is Thailand’s largest and poorest region. Issan Women are particularly attractive with slightly darker skin and pronounced cheek bones. There is a well established and entrenched mentality amongst Issan Women that the only way out of the poverty which exists here is to Marry a Falang.
The following is an account of an American whom I met the other day and who is fairly representative of what Issan Women are seeking in a partner,he is careless with his money!!! This guy we will call him Randy is a civilian worker who has a grade 2 clearance and works closely with the American military in Afghanistan. Randy has been shot in the leg and badly injured in a bomb blast in which three Marines died.
For this insanely dangerous line of work Randy is quite rightly handsomely rewarded, I think the figure he told me was $340.000 per year and he is earning every Cent!!! Without wishing to insult him I get the feeling that Randy is not the brightest of people, in fact again Randy fits the bill of what the Issan Woman is looking for perfectly. Randy met and Married his Thai Woman some three years ago.
Since his Marriage Randy has bought a house in Thailand which of course belongs to his Wife. He has bought a pick up for his Wife’s Father also one for her, a motorcycle for each of her three Sons, the list goes on. Latterly Randy has been sending his Issan Lady around $7000.00 per month. I imagine that whilst enduring the dangers and hardships of Afghanistan thoughts of his lovely Issan Lady waiting for him have helped to sustain him.
In fact when Randy returned unannounced to Issan recently wishing to surprise his beautiful Wife he found that she was not at home. He quickly found out that his Wife was in fact with her Thai Boyfriend!! Poor dumb Randy had in fact been giving all his hard won cash to a Woman who had no feelings for him whatsoever and who saw him simply as an ATM machine. It is my contention that the majority of Issan Women are just like Randy’s now ex Wife!!!
In my hub “Cuckolded by a Thai Women again” I describe an Issan Lady of whom I had become quite fond. I detail our relationship from my point of view,obviously one can never be sure what ones partners feelings are in reality. I have since found out that this attractive Forty Seven year old in fact does not even like Falangs , although she is actively seeking another one!! What she and her fellow Issan Women are after is money. To the majority of Issan Women “Falang Buffalo”, a hugely insulting description, are a cash crop just waiting to be harvested !!!
As for poor Randy he is with a rather cute Thai Girl enjoying himself in the remaining few days before he has to return to Afghanistan. I only hope that he does not make the mistake of Marrying this one.
The reason I am writing this is not to denigrate Issan Women they are merely following a pattern which started when over rich American servicemen were stationed here in large numbers during the Vietnam war. In reality the majority of the Men who are fleeced here have nobody to blame but themselves. The warnings are there for all to see. Unfortunately where good looking Women are involved most Men’s sensible genes just do not function!!
Of course I will go on giving my warnings and gullible Men will go on getting taken to the cleaners. Ce La Vie!!! I often write of elderly not too pretty Western Men falling for the charms of a hopelessly young and beautiful Thai Woman and waking up to wonder why it all went wrong. But it is not exclusively old and ugly Men who earn the disdain and contempt of Thai Women!!
In my apartment block I am friendly with The Thai owner 60% of his tenants are Falang and most have Thai Ladies. The Son of a Wealthy French Man is staying here at the moment. His Father has a Kawasaki super bike a big shiny car and an equally sparkling Thai Mistress. His Son whom I find to be a pleasant fellow has a pretty little Thai Girlfriend and is having the time of his life. When talking to the owner the other day the young guys Girl came into the Lobby the owner enquired after her boyfriend, when she left my friend explained what her reply had been, she had said something to the effect that his shirt was rather tight, this is a euphemism which is used to describe a Lady boy!!
The message which this young girl is sending out loudly and clearly to her fellow Thai’s is that while she may have to share the Falangs bed in order to get the money which she, and indeed all Thai’s so desperately crave, the one who is actualy being screwed is the Buffallo!!!